Still Working on this Role-Playing Game Because I am an Idiot

The title pretty much sums it up. Don't have much to add here, but with the whole COVID-19 thing I've found myself at home a whole lot more, started a D&D 5E Zoom campaign for a few friends, started working on a short novella based around old-school fantasy gaming tropes, and that kind of dragged me back towards pecking away at the Tankards & Broadswords RPG.

Because Google docs make me happy I haven't lost any of my older material, and I began re-writing some of the material I last worked on in 2013 (!!!). I think I found a better mechanic for bonuses and penalties because I was never really happy with what I'd decided on before. Also brutally streamlining weapon types down to Light, Medium, and Heavy. Same thing with armors. I've cut out almost any form of money mechanics in the game because I've decided that coin-counting is to me antithetical to adventure gameplay.

I also want to focus a lot on what I am loosely referring to as "Tavern Play", which is pretty much how to turn hanging out in Ye Olde Tavern from that boring part in the beginning of the game where you meet the mysterious wizard, into an actual interesting play space where your characters might enjoy hanging out while drinking, flirting, gaming, brawling, gossiping, and in general living the good life.

Fundamentally, I feel like this game isn't so much for me to do a dance and proclaim that I'm now an "indie game designer" so much as it is a platform for me to write my personal gaming manifesto. Pretty sure there isn't much of a market for that, but we'll see. The whole thing is going to be free whenever I get around to putting it someplace because it already beggars belief that I get paid for my fiction writing. I can't imagine anyone paying for my game-related work.

So, we'll see. I'll post more as time goes on.

My RPG Publishing Malaise

Thinking back, I have been pondering the notion of "homebrew" role-playing game systems since I started gaming around 1993. I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember getting the "Amazing Engine" universal RPG system from TSR around that time, and it was my first real exposure to what you might consider a "generic" role-playing game system, one that kept a stable core but could be adapted to meet the needs of most any genre.

Later on in college during the mid- to late '90s, I would often pick up interesting one-off RPGs at the local gaming store and read through them, pondering their mechanics and feeling the beginnings of an interest in designing my own game. In fact, around 1999-2000 I did begin serious work on my own simple gaming engine, one I called SCORE (Suitable for Creating the Optimum Role-playing Experience). There were a couple of early versions that used a 2d10 bell-curve, one of which I used to run a 1920s-era horror game that went for a few sessions until I decided to switch setting gears, and baited the party into a TPK (Total Player Kill - I wiped out the entire party).

Eventually this crime against humanity was forgiven, and I ran a couple of fantasy campaigns with a new incarnation of SCORE, one that used a Rolemaster-esque d100 + rating system. Those games actually went quite well, and we had a lot of fun playing right up to around the end of 2002. I still have most of my notes for those games, along with character sheets, and I still think the system works, at least for a game written at the turn of the century. It's not the sort of system I'd use more than a decade later, but I think it worked well enough.

Soon after that game came and went by the wayside, I decided to work on a game with a very strong "Sword & Sorcery" bent, originally named "Legends of Blood and Iron". This game had a lot of good heart, and a lot of flavor to it, but I think mechanically it was a bit of a mess. The world-building portion of the game, and the discussion of what made up a proper S&S campaign, it still I think relevant, and perhaps one day I will dig a few gems out of the work. This was also around the time I found and devoured Ron Edwards' Sorcerer and Sword, a supplement for his Sorcerer RPG. I have no love for the core product, but his supplement is, in my mind, the single best treatise on "Sword & Sorcery" role-playing games I've ever seen.

Over the many intervening years, I have tinkered with a myriad of RPG designs and concepts. I've run a few one-shots here and there to test one mechanic or another, but nothing done with enough time and substance to form any true window into whether or not a specific whole rules set "works" or doesn't work - in short, nor real formal playtesting beyond one or two sessions. I've probably achieved "80%" finished on whatever it is the Tankards & Broadswords RPG might one day be, but that last twenty percent is a real bitch.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder about this RPG publishing malaise. For several years now, the urge to design a game and run a campaign was supplanted by my writing career, which - lets be honest - pays far better than I would ever imagine an RPG might pay. On the other hand, after spending so much cumulative time working towards the nebulous goal of releasing my own RPG - a goal that is easier to achieve than ever, thanks to all the print-on-demand and self-publishing options out there right now - I find it somewhat vexing that I can't approach the goal of writing and publishing an RPG with the same assertiveness that I can approach writing a novel or short story. If I can write a book that gets read by multiple thousands of complete strangers, why can't I write a RPG that might wind up in the hands of - let's be realistic - a few dozen?

Maybe it is because while the majority of readers are just that - readers - who zip through a book once and basically give it a thumbs up or a thumbs down, I find that many - if not most - RPG players are constant rules tinkerers, and obsess over almost any aspect of a game. Only a small handful of readers are ever going to pick over any one of my novels to the degree that MOST gamers would pick over a game. So, I feel, the inevitable level of scrutiny - as well as their natural inclination to say "well, if *I* designed this game, I think XYZ should have been ABC..." - keeps me from pulling the trigger.

I don't know. As I type this, I ponder the writing of a small, specific RPG premise. I think that would be the best way to start. From there, if the idea was interesting and well-received, maybe it'd give me more confidence to tackle a larger, more interesting project. It would be a shame to never have a formal sharing of all this idea fodder, but at the same time, there's a right way and a wrong way to do all that, so I need to pick and choose my battlefield carefully, so to speak.

Tankards and Broadswords Awakens!

So...yeah! It's been a couple of years since I posted, but I'm resurrecting this blog because of a number of developments in the Fantasy / Gaming front going on over here. Many thanks to those of you who've kept me in your feed - comments here are always welcome!

In January of last year, I published a Swords & Sorcery novella, Spiders and Flies. It was largely written back in 2001 as an homage to pulpy S&S fantasy fiction a la Robert E. Howard and the like, set in a world I had created as a campaign setting for my SCORE homebrew RPG system. So far, sales have been slow, but I get a nibble now and then, and reviews have been overall very positive, which is quite nice.

The story follows four adventurers as they trek into a nearby desert wasteland in order to plunder the abandoned temple of a mostly-forgotten spider god. As you might guess, things don't go as smoothly as the treasure-hunters anticipated! There's a lot of adventure and bloody violence, and it is a short, quick read of about 20,000 words, enough to entertain you for about a hour's reading pleasure. It is available on Amazon as either an ebook or a paperback.

My friend and fellow author Dan Eldredge has published his second novel, The Grand Masquerade. This is the sequel to his debut work, The Pirates of Alnari, which I posted about two years ago.

If you like brutal, very realistic high-medieval combat, diabolical political intrigue, massive land and sea battles, and plenty of adventure, these books are a must-read. If you combined the coolest aspects of the Game of Thrones books and Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey and Maturin novels, you'd get this series.

The Grand Masquerade (as well as The Pirates of Alnari) is available in ebook and paperback formats from Amazon. Click on the cover photo to go to the book's Amazon page.

In addition, I've put out two more COMMANDO novels since this blog was active - Operation Cannibal and Operation Dervish. Both are available on Amazon in ebook and paperback formats, and you can find them by clicking on the links provided to the left of this post. There's also my Western novella, Renegade's Revenge, and my '70s era men's adventure novel, San Francisco Slaughter. Both of these are also available on Amazon in ebook and print versions.

Beyond my writing, I've started gaming again. I'm running a 5th Edition Dungeon's & Dragons campaign, and I'm playing in a 4th Edition campaign. All I have to say is, WOW - the differences are enough to give you mental whiplash! More on this to come in more followup posts.

FREE TODAY: The Pirates of Alnari by Dan Eldredge

Click the Cover to See on Amazon

My good friend Dan Eldredge's debut novel is free today on Amazon. If you dig pirates, swordfighting, intrigue, sex and violence, this book is definitely worth your time. Allow me to copy the book's product description from Amazon:
 Martyn and Arycke are two young nobles forced into hiding after experiencing an act of unspeakable violence. They buy passage on the Isalian frigate Selene, but after a bloody battle against two pirate vessels, Martyn and Arycke find themselves shipwrecked castaways along with a beautiful young woman, her ever-watchful grandfather, and the rest of the Selene's crew.
Unfortunately for the survivors, they now find themselves stranded within reach of the pirate city of Alnari. In short order, Martyn and Arycke find themselves fighting for their lives, not only against marauding bands of savage pirates, but mutinous elements within the Selene's own crew.

The shipwrecked survivors are dragged into a maelstrom of vengeance and intrigue, as rival pirate lords maneuver against each other for dominance over Alnari. Martyn, Arycke, and the rest of the Selene's crew will need every ounce of courage, cunning, and strength they possess if they hope to escape alive...

The Pirates of Alnari is a gritty fantasy adventure story filled with bloody naval battles and vicious sword fights, combining the cutthroat political intrigue of George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire with the dashing nautical adventures of Patrick O’Brian.

NANOK Gets a New Cover!

Ander Plana, the artist responsible for the excellent new cover gracing Operation Arrowhead has now provided me with a cover for my pastiche Swords & Sorcery short story, NANOK and the Tower of Sorrows.

Although it was a ton of fun to write, and I think it's a great read for fans of Sword & Sorcery-style fantasy fiction, NANOK hasn't been selling very well, so I decided to make the investment and get a new cover. I think Ander's creation is pretty damn awesome - true to the classic pulp fantasy cover feel, but with a more modern styling. I think he also does a good job of making the cover unique while tying it in to the general layout seen in my Commando covers.

If you have a chance, head over to DeviantArt.com and check out Ander's work - some great stuff (and I'm not just saying that because my commissioned works are there.

Book Review: The Pirates of Alnari by Dan Eldredge

Click the Cover to See on Amazon

Please pardon the forthcoming preface, but I think it's important to set this review in the proper context...

The indie publishing explosion over the last few years has given a lot of people the opportunity to dust off their "desk drawer novels". You know, that book you wrote back when you were in grad school, typed on your girlfriends Mac in the wee hours of the morning? As soon as you got a real job, you left your dreams of becoming a writer behind, figuring there's no way you had the time or connections to break into the world of big time publishing. But it's still there, a printout sitting in your desk drawer, a little battered and faded, but every so often, you take it out, thumb through it, and wonder about what it might have been like to be a "Novelist".

Well, thanks to new technologies such as tablets, ebook readers, print-on-demand services, and so forth, becoming a published author is well within the reach of anyone who has the time and energy to tackle the process. Of course "The Process" is a 600-pound Sumo wrestler, and he's pretty unforgiving. Those folks who just re-type that desk drawer novel and throw it up on Amazon expecting to reap the royalties from thousands of ebook sales are in for a rude awakening. Even the people who follow all the advice and recommendations they see online given by dozens of successful indie authors may well find themselves staring at the "brown bar of shame" - the colored indicator in Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing report page that shows no sales for the month.

Years ago, a college friend of mine mentioned to me that he'd written a few fantasy novels, and asked if I'd wanted to read them. at the time (probably back in the early 90's) he'd farmed the manuscripts out to the usual Sci-Fi / Fantasy houses, and hadn't had any luck. I gave them a read, and although they were the works of an amateur author, I still found them fun and enjoyable stories. But as time went on and we both grew older, not only did I give up my own notions of becoming an author, but so did my friend. These became his "desk drawer novels".

Flash forward more than a decade. After helping me as a beta reader, editor, and endless source of support and counsel regarding my own books, my friend Dan decided to take the best of his old novels, strip it down to its barest elements, and re-write the entire book from soup to nuts. This process took more than a year, and after the draft was written there was the editing, beta reading, discussions of plot and character, so on and so forth. "The Process" is a real bear under the best of circumstances, but Dan's a busy guy, with a full time job and two young kids who keep him on his toes 24/7, so taking the journey from desk drawer novel to a completely rewritten manuscript ready for publishing was especially daunting.

At the end of it all, however, the result is a damn fine book.

The Pirates of Alnari is a "hard fantasy" novel, meaning it is set in a different world, but there is no magic, no elves, no demons or wizards, dungeons or dragons. You could consider it an alternate reality or an Earth that never was. The setting is roughly analogous to 15th-16th century Europe, although there are elements that feel more 18th or early 19th century. Regardless, the level of detail and realism is such that you are quickly pulled into the setting, and any notion that this is a "fantasy" world falls by the wayside.

The story revolves around two young noblemen, Martyn and Arycke. The book begins with them having just participated in something horrible and violent, but the details are left hidden to the reader - this is important, because the mystery of what happened will be slowly revealed throughout the book. Needless to say, there is more than one side to the story. The two young men feel that they need to flee the country, and so travel to the nearest port city and book passage on the first ship that'll get them away. Their ship is the Selene, an Isalian navy frigate willing to take on a few passengers during her voyage. Martyn and Arycke have never taken a sea voyage before, and the experience is new and exciting - even more so, when a beautiful young woman is brought on board as another passenger, along with her ever-watchful grandfather. Arycke, who has an ever-roving eye, immediately begins pursuing the young woman, much to Martyn's annoyance.

The sea voyage quickly turns deadly serious, however, when the ship encounters a pirate vessel. Being a Navy frigate, it is the Selene's duty to deal with pirates wherever they are found. But the battle against the pirates turns into a much more brutal affair than first expected, and the Selene is badly damaged. The ship is eventually lost on a reef during a storm, and the survivors - about a hundred of the ship's crew and the passengers - are stranded along a foreign coast.

Unfortunately for the survivors, the coast they're now inhabiting is claimed by pirates. A whole city of pirates.

I don't want to give away any more of the plot. However, what progresses from this point on is a whirlwind of battles and intrigue, murder and revenge, plot and counter-plot. Characters have multiple agendas and not everyone is as they seem. The survivors of the shipwreck must struggle to avoid capture or death at the hands of different pirate factions, as well as the threat of mutiny among their own number. The pirates constantly maneuver against each other for dominance over Alnari, using any means - violence, sex, money, political influence - at their disposal.

The author holds the works of George R. R. Martin, especially his Song of Ice and Fire series, in high regard, and its influence on the book is evident by both the complex relationships among the characters, and the stark brutality of the combat sequences. The author is well-versed in swordsmanship and medieval combat, and this comes through in the many swordfights throughout the book. Limbs are sheared away, heads roll, guts spill, and blood is drawn by the bucketful. Not only are the battles violent and well-scripted, but it is clear from early on that no character is safe from the author's killing stroke.

Also evident is the author's knowledge of the Age of Sail. There are many details regarding ship navigation and operation, as well as the day to day lives of those aboard ships, and the organization of sailing navies and their military exploits. Although the setting is analogous to the 1400s and early 1500s, the maritime aspects of the book seem to carry the influence of master maritime novelist Patrick O'Brian, whose Napoleonic naval adventures are second to none. Fans of O'Brian's Aubrey and Maturin novels will feel right at home in this book, despite the otherworldly setting.

Overall, The Pirates of Alnari is a strong, exciting adventure and displays the author's skill as a storyteller. While this is Dan Eldredge's first published novel, I know we'll see more works from him in the years to come, and I look forward to reading them.

Currently The Pirates of Alnari is only available on Amazon as an ebook, but the paperback should be available in early 2013.

Awesome New Review for NANOK!

I really wish Amazon had a feature for authors that allowed you to be alerted when a new review was posted of your works, because this one's a few days old. However, I just have to share with you the following review for NANOK and the Tower of Sorrows:

One more sip of Michael Moorcock's too-absinthe-for-its-own-good Elric threatens to make you ill? Mix one part Marvel's old B&W Savage Sword of Conan with one part trash-talking Schwarzenegger action flick, add a splash of Lloyd Alexander's The Chronicles of Prydian and two splashes Sergio Aragones' Groo, shake violently to the consistency of frothy blood, and the resulting refreshing cocktail is Nanok and the Tower of Sorrows. Will there be a chaser Mr. Badelaire? 

Mr. Molesworth, there will indeed be a followup to NatToS. I know the broad-brushstrokes version of the plot, I just don't know when it will be written. Once I get COMMANDO: Operation Arrowhead out the door, I want to write a sequel to Rivalry, then perhaps the Nanok sequel, before I work on the next novel.

My Vigilante Revenge Thriller "Killer Instincts" is Now Available

After a two-year gestation, my vigilante revenge novel Killer Instincts has gone live on Amazon via Kindle Direct Publishing. If you're interested in checking it out, click on the link in the left-hand sidebar.

For the majority of you who've never heard or seen me talk about it...

Killer Instincts is the story of William Lynch, an upper-middle class college junior, whose parents and teenage sister are killed in a mob hit while he's in Paris during spring break in March of 2001. William's father is a hotshot DA in Boston, attempting to prosecute Pauly Paggiano, the son of a minor-league crime boss, for the rape and murder of a young college girl. In order to deliver a savage message to the eyewitnesses in the case - the only real evidence the prosecution has - the Paggianos kill William's family and burn their Providence home to the ground.

William is informed of the tragedy by his estranged uncle Jamie Lynch, a Vietnam veteran and former SOG Green Beret. Jamie leads a reclusive existence in Maine, where he owns a log cabin on the shore of Moosehead Lake and works in a sporting goods shop. William has only met his uncle a handful of times over the years; both of William's parents were against Jamie having much contact with their son, worried that Jamie - whose views on war and violence can be disturbing - would somehow "corrupt" their son into a warmonger.  Jamie was a soldier who thrived in combat, and after the war he spent a number of years participating in activities that can only be described as morally ambiguous...

Now, Jamie is the only family William has left. Meeting for the first time in years, Jamie reveals to William the reasons behind his family's slaughter; the court case against Pauly Paggiano, how the eyewitnesses have all withdrawn their testimonies or otherwise backed out of the case, and how the case against Pauly has been thrown out. Faced with the enormity of what has happened to him, William realizes that at 21, any hope he has for a normal life has been erased by this terrible act. Feeling he doesn't have anything to lose, since his future has been so horribly ruined, William decides he's going to find a way to avenge his family and destroy the Paggianos.  He begs Jamie to join with him in his crusade, but Jamie refuses, declaring that he can't go back to that way of life after decades of maintaining a civilized existence.  Seeing his nephew is committed to this idea with or without his help, Jamie begrudgingly admits that, although he's not going to help William, he knows someone who can.

Jamie introduces his nephew to Richard, a mysterious, eccentric Texan who made his living for decades as a professional mercenary. Although he's now retired from taking active assignments, Richard has a network of contacts and resources he'd be willing to provide to William, for a price. After some consideration, William decides that he wouldn't feel right contracting the Paggiano's destruction; he wants to keep the revenge personal. So, for a hundred thousand dollars (plus expenses), Richard agrees to mentor William through an intense, month-long training and indoctrination regimen out in the Texas desert.

What takes place next is the mental and physical transformation of a peaceful, white-collar college student into a bloody-minded vigilante killer. And then the fun really begins...

Gardner F. Fox - My Favorite D&D Author

Over at Grognardia yesterday James discusses the Fox short story that appeared in the first issue of Dragon magazine. Shadow of a Demon was a fun, simple, straightforward Sword & Sorcery adventure and I think for many it set the tone of what heroic fantasy D&D gaming should be.

While Appendix N points out many D&D influences, for me, Gardner F. Fox's Kyrik and Kothar novels stand at the top of the list. Although Fox is clearly writing as a pastiche to Robert E. Howard, and as much as I love Howard's writing, it is too...serious? For D&D gaming in my book.  On the other hand, Fox's stories always have a touch of the wink and a nod needed in order to translate better to the tabletop. They are lighter fare, to be sure, but I feel that they have a certain "fun" quality to them that represents better the light banter, in-jokes, and other tomfoolery that takes place at the average D&D gaming table.

This is one of the major reasons why, when I wrote NANOK and the Tower of Sorrows, I was channeling Fox much more than Howard or any other pulp fantasy author. I wanted NANOK to be fun, to illicit a laugh or three, and I picture readers who "get" the humor of the story reading it with a smile on their face the entire time. As much as I enjoy reading Howard's works, I don't know if I would really consider them "fun" in a humorous sense; the man channeled a little too much of himself into the stories for that to be possible.

If you haven't ever read Fox's Kothar or Kyrik novels, give them a chance. You can find 'em on Amazon for a few bucks, and as they certainly aren't publishing them anymore, it's only going to get harder as time goes on.  Sadly, these would be perfect fodder for someone's e-reader, but I doubt anyone even knows where the publishing rights for these stories are anymore, never mind who'd be willing to put them through the eBook conversion process.

Because they were a while ago, here are links to all of my Kothar reviews:

Revisiting Kothar, Barbarian Swordsman

Review of Kothar, Barbarian Swordsman

Kothar and the Demon Queen

Kothar and the Magic Sword

John Carter Sucked, or Why Hollywood Thinks too Hard

Warning, there are some spoilers ahead. Of course, if you actually care about this, you probably want to know what they are, so you can avoid this film and watch it on Netflix a year from now.

I saw John Carter on Sunday. I had high-ish hopes. I knew the plot was changed from the original Princess of Mars, but I also have an understanding of the differences between print and film and why certain changes have to be made. Unfortunately, many changes were made for No Reason At All. And this is what annoys me, folks. Hollywood buys up these classic stories, stories that have stood the test of time for generations and spawn whole genres, and then Hollywood screws with them because they fear the original idea "won't test well" or some nonsense.

This is the same major issue I had with this summer's Conan the Barbarian remake/reboot/whatever. REH wrote plenty of great material on Conan, and you could have even adapted some Kull material, or a blend of material from some of his other stories.  But no.  Despite eighty years of success and generations of loyal fans, we throw any vestige of a Howardian story out the window in favor of something completely fabricated by a committee of people only vaguely aware of Howard's works.  What you're left with is something that has little to do with Howard's Conan and more to do with, I dunno, a Hercules & Xena remake. This isn't to say Milius' Conan stuck any closer to a Howardian plot, but hey, how about that Orchestral score by Basil Poledouris? Badass.

While John Carter in theory keeps a little closer to ERB's original story, the changes that are made make it, if anything, even more frustrating to watch. Rather than just throw out the entire plot and come up with something completely different, the moviemakers decided to shuffle a deck of plot points and, seemingly at random, throw them out in favor of new or altered ideas.  Here is where the spoilers come along, folks.  You've been warned.

First, the need for a magical techno-amulet gizmo to send Carter to Mars was stupid. In the book, its a creepy cave, with a strange property that sends him to Mars. Why? Who knows? Who cares? That it is some sort of mystical place, shunned by the Indians, is good enough for me. But no, we have to create some kind of McGuffin in the form of this teleportation amulet, which becomes this laborious plot point throughout the movie.  Who has it? How does it work? How do we get ahold of it again? Precious minutes wasted.

Which, if I can digress, is my major problem with all these changes. If you want to change something and have a good reason, fine. But to A) change something for no good reason and B) have the change take up precious minutes of film that could be filled with more awesomeness, I get angry. There are a lot of cool adventuresome moments in A Princess of Mars that could have been put in / left in the film, but aren't, and instead, we have long, boring explanations as to how the "telegraph machine" works, or the Thern's aeons-long plan / habit of destroying world after world. Long, boring explanations that just add needless plot hooks that need to get sealed up later on in the film, wasting even more precious time.

Guess what folks! There's only one plot hook you need. John Carter, Chivalrous Southern Gentleman and Celebrated Fighting Cavalry Officer, meets Beautiful, Defiant, Spirited, Intelligent Dejah Thoris and falls in love with her, and she reciprocates that love.  Carter then battles anyone and anything that gets between him and Dejah because, you know, that whole LOVE thing. This is a formula that has worked time and time again in classic Hollywood films for generations, and yet, for some reason, we throw it out. The only thing that motivates Carter is a need to get back home, and his relationship with Dejah Thoris is, through 90% of the film, more one of annoyed quips and banter than actual fondness. Perhaps Hollywood didn't think the actors or the script could pull off a believable love story? Guess what - GET NEW TALENT. Superman fell in love with Lois Lane, right? Spider-man loves Mary Jane, so on and so forth.

Instead, we have to introduce, out of the blue, some plot element about Carter's long-dead wife and child, which prevents him from loving Dejah, or admitting he's got feelings for her. Instead he fights for her and with her in order to find out the secret of going back home, and yet, at the end of the film, he THROWS THAT AWAY because he decides Barsoom is home to him. This all cycles back around to the techno-widget at the beginning of the film which showed him the mechanism by which he traveled to Barsoom in the first place. If we had just left it as a mystical cave with strange powers, the plot would have been streamlined considerably.

Which brings me to my next major beef - the Therns. Yes, they exist in the second book, and yes, you could have had them as an element in the movie without ruining things. But instead of the leaders of a religion that hides the lie of Issus' godhood and the secret of the River Iss, they become a needlessly hyperbolic race of galactic dicks who travel through the cosmos screwing over one planet at a time, and GUESS WHAT? When they are done with Mars, EARTH IS NEXT! BUM BUM BUMMM!

Why? Why was this necessary? Why does John Carter have to get involved in all these complicated plots and sub plots and twists and turns? The original story has more than enough adventure and derring do and enough political sophistication between the Tharks and the Zodangans and the Heliumites. There doesn't need to be Yet Another Player In The Game to confuse the issue, but not only do we introduce one, we have to waste more Precious Screentime in long, drawn-out explanations of the Thern's master scheme.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

A Princess of Mars has been around for almost a hundred years, and it's probably been in print every year since it was published, and probably will continue to be until the written word dies out. The John Carter stories inspired a whole subgenre of science fiction and fantasy, the "Sword & Planet" genre, and if they aren't he best example of that genre (which I think they are), they are pretty damn close, and certainly the most epic of the Sword and Planet stories.  Like Howard's Conan, if such stories can remain popular and stand the test of time for generation after generation and spawn whole genres of fiction, why Hollywood needs to go in there and screw with things is beyond me.  Yes, sometimes changes need to be made.  Making the Green Men only a foot or two taller than Carter, rather than 12-15 feet tall, made sense for the purpose of making a film. Trimming down or finding another way to handle a lot of the explanation scenes that take place in the first third or so of A Princess of Mars was probably necessary, although you could debate the way they did it.

But there was nothing at all wrong with the basic plot of the novel, and not only was it changed for no good reason that I could see, the changes that were made not only made the story more complex and confusing, the changes wasted time because they needed to be explained. Without the amulet, there was no need for them to travel down the River Iss, there was no need to waste all that screentime with the magical map of the solar system, there was no need to involve the Therns, there was no need for the pretty stupid "bait" ending to the film. You probably could have harvested back a good 40+ minutes of the movie (oh, yes, the beginning of the film with the Cavalry and the Indians, also needlessly complicated), which could have been used to show more ass-kicking adventure. Instead, everything felt so rushed, so briefly touched upon, that even the more kick-ass moments were rushed past because there was another plot element we had to get through.

So at the end of the day, we're left with a movie that does a half-assed job of not really adapting one of the founding works of interplanetary adventure science fiction. The movie will fail at the box office, and no one will touch the idea again for who knows how long, since Disney will have taken such a stinking dump on the whole idea.

Way to go, Disney. Way to go.

On Sale Now: NANOK And the Tower of Sorrows

The short story is now Live and available for purchase or Kindle Lending Library borrowing.

I uploaded the story to Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing site around 9:30 last night, and it went live sometime in the early hours of the morning; I received the e-mail notification from Amazon around 4 AM.  When I logged in to confirm the book was "live" it appears some kind soul from the UK needed a bit of badass barbarian face-hacking adventure on their Monday morning commute.  So, first sale goes to the UK, mere hours after the story went Live and before I even knew it was available.  Let's hope this is a good omen!

Coming Soon: NANOK and the Tower of Sorrows

Nanok, wandering swordsman of the Iron Wastes, makes a deal with the Wizard King Midar to steal the mighty Sunsword from the Tower of Sorrows, lair of the dreaded sorcerer, Draaa'kon the Bleak.

Pursued by Draaa'kon and his horde of cauldron-born mutant henchmen, Nanok discovers stealing the enchanted sword is just the beginning. Though victorious against Draaa'kon's bloodthirsty minions, Nanok is blasted senseless by sorcery and sent tumbling from a high ocean cliff.

Washed ashore in a distant cove, Nanok is aided by a mysterious wilderness warrior who has his own reasons for seeing Draaa'kon defeated. Swearing vengeance against his enemy, Nanok returns once more to the Tower of Sorrows, determined to lay waste to everyone and everything within.

Battling fearsome troll-kin, brutal guardsmen, and a monstrous horror conjured through the darkest of magics, Nanok must learn the powerful secret of the Sunsword if he is going to have any hope of emerging victorious from the Tower of Sorrows...

NANOK And the Tower of Sorrows is a pastiche fantasy adventure short story written as a humorous, light-hearted homage to many of the Sword & Sorcery creations from the 60's and 70's: The Kyrik and Kothar novels of Gardner F. Fox, the Thongor stories of Lin Carter, John Jake's Brak the Barbarian, Karl Edward Wagner's Kane adventures, and much more.

Blend in a healthy mix of cheesy barbarian movies from the 80's, Dungeons & Dragons-esque fantasy tropes, inspiration from heavy metal album covers, Frank Frazetta paintings, comic books, wargames, gratuitously violent adult cartoons, and a pigpile of other influences. What you get is a story that'll have you laughing out loud one minute and fist-pumping the air in victory the next.

NANOK should be available early next week on Amazon as a Kindle eBook. Stay tuned, and I'll post an announcement once the story is available for purchase.

Book Review: The New Death by James Hutchings

I read this book in bits and pieces over the course of a week. There's a great mix of prose and poetry in here, and while the tone shifts from piece to piece, I think everything is well-written and certainly entertaining.

A lot of the material here carries with it a very "mythological" feel. Those readers who are into Fantasy RPGs like D&D would find a lot of inspiration here. I don't necessarily mean ripping it verbatim from this book, but rather see how the author has crafted each tale to speak to a certain aspect of the mythology and go from there. The stories involving the various divine aspects (Love, Death, Fame, etc.) work especially well for this.

A fair number of the stories in here are satirical in nature, and while I'm not much of a satire fan, these pieces are still quite good and entertaining. Some of them are also "modern mythology" and may appeal to those who like Pratchett, Gaiman, and other, similar writers.

All told, this is a quick-reading book with a little bit of everything. Whether you like Weird fiction, fantasy, satire, comedy, poetry, or prose, The New Death has something for you.

NANOK is Coming...

"This barbarian, this man of the Iron Wastes, was known only as Nanok.  Rumored to have been raised by wolves, Nanok thrived and grew among the giant, rusted bones and shattered crystal tears of a long-forgotten empire.  Now, Nanok lived the life of a wanderer and sell-sword, reaver and pirate, thief and gladiator.  A drinker of ale, a lover of women, and a slayer of men...usually - but not always - in that order."

Boskone 49: A Few Sci-Fi Convention Observations

I attended the Saturday and Sunday sessions of Boskone 49 this past weekend.  For those of you who don't know, Boskone is a literary-focused (but less so over the years) science-fiction convention held here in Boston (or the greater Boston area, depending).  It's a pretty old convention, seeing as this is the 49th year - no idea if this is the oldest, but I'm guessing it's "pretty damn old".  Overall it was a very good experience.  I hadn't been to a Boskone in ages, and it was nice to attend again.  Below, a few random observations:

• John Scalzi was the Guest of Honor.  I attended several of his panels, and was relieved to see that he didn't come of as a giant dick, since I've liked what books of his I've read.  He seems like a genuinely nice guy, albeit a pretty hardcore nerd, but if that's the least of his sins I think he can be forgiven as he is a darn good writer and really "gets" the post-post modern age of science fiction fandom we're all living in these days.  Case in point; his newest novel is titled "Red Shirts".  Would have attended the author signing but unfortunately he had to return home earlier than predicted.  Oh, and all of you who knew he had to leave right after the reading, but rushed him and asked for autographs anyway?  Shame.
• I attended the panel on "geeks in the media".  The panel focused on The Big Bang Theory, a show I don't watch and have no intention of watching.  There was a lot of good discussion, but what constantly annoyed me was the self-generated dichotomy between "geeks" and "mundanes".  In my mind, anyone who uses those terms to describe the difference between themselves and others who don't share their same interests deserves whatever social abuse they might suffer.  Just as you don't have to be a "geek" to be an engineer, IT professional, or a scientist, you don't have to be a "geek" to read a comic book, watch Star Wars movies, or appreciate Tolkien.  The notion that there is some magical, arbitrary "tipping point", the balance of which automatically brands you as a "geek" and puts you into a separate social category, is evidence alone that one of the few true hallmarks of Geekdom is being a social nincompoop.
• The "World of Robocop" panel discussing if advances in technology are stripping away our personal freedoms and security was a pretty interesting discussion.  Working in the field of academic communication studies, it is amazing to see how willingly people give the world their entire lives, but then complain that they fear the government is watching them.  Look folks, the government's just watching your Facebook, Foursquare, GetGlue, Pinterest, Twitter, Blogger, and Google Plus feeds.  Stay Calm and Carry On, Citizen.
• The Art Gallery had a little memorial area for the writers and artists of note who died in 2011.  I was shocked to see Darrell K. Sweet had died - he's the guy who (most famously, I think) did all the Robert Jordan book covers (I think he was one of Tor's heaviest hitters).  That Jeff Jones had died was a little shocking as well, especially since minutes before I had picked up a couple of old 70's paperbacks with his artwork gracing the covers.  I think some people thought of Jones as the Poor Man's Frazetta, but Jones' artwork had a grittier, more primal nature that, for me, stood on its own legs without any help from other artists.
• The panels on H. Beam Piper and Jack Vance were both very interesting.  I had heard of Piper maybe once before, but never read any of his books - I'll have to change that fact one of these days.  The Vance panel was also very good but sadly under-attended.  I've read Vance's four Dying Earth books, but nothing else; again, something that I need to change.  I was amused that the youngest of the three panelists (Author David Wellington, see the first comment below) noted how one of the reasons Vance will continue to be read is that Dungeons & Dragons uses "Vancian Magic" and heavily influenced Gygax's view of D&D.  Apparently the panelist hadn't played D&D in a long, long time... (EDIT: David apparently plays D&D, but he's a B/X player.  Kudos to you, David, for keeping the torch alive!  Too bad we couldn't talk gaming a little more at the panel).
• I had a short but pleasant conversation with a group of female writers at the Broad Universe huckster's table.  I overheard them talking about Amazon and Smashwords' self publishing venues, and talked a little about the differences between Kindle Direct Publishing and Amazon Select, how to generate your own .mobi files, and so on.  Science Fiction and Fantasy are two venues where amateur writing has had an extraordinarily strong presence for a long while, and I think the Indie Pub revolution going on right now is going to have a very positive impact on the SF&F world.  There were a couple of panels on e-books and publishing, but unfortunately I didn't get to attend them; I imagine in years to come these will grow in number and popularity.
• The lecture on "How to Teach Your Dog Quantum Physics" was great.  Chad Orzel was an amazing speaker, clearly able to articulate some very complex subjects in an approachable and entertaining manner.  A really good dialogue was achieved between Orzel and the audience, and Boskone made a big mistake putting this in the smallest hall available - it was packed to the gills five minutes before the lecture started, and people were literally crammed onto the floor to listen to the lecturer.  You could have used a space twice as big and still filled every seat.  An excellent way to end the convention.

So, that's it.  I was going to launch into a soapboxing on some negative comments, but I think for the sake of keeping this a positive experience, I'll let it go.  Attending this year's Boskone was a great opportunity to dig deep into some interesting Literary Sci-Fi territory, and I think next year - the Big Five-Oh - will be a must-do.

On Sale Now: Rivalry - A Ghost Story

A couple of months ago, I had a dream about hunting ghosts in an old hotel.  I occasionally have weird dreams like that, but this one was unusually creepy, and inspired me to come up with a short ghost story.

However, "Rivaly" isn't that story.  Instead, what began as the main character's introduction and origin anecdote turned into a six-thousand word short story in and of itself.  The story of "Rivalry" is based around, in part, a weird experience I had at a friend's house when I was in grade school. We kept thinking his house was haunted; it wasn't of course, but a couple of odd occurrences did spook our overactive imaginations.

It's rather amazing how little things that happen to you as a kid can have a strong impact on you decades later.  And the bigger that trigger event is, the bigger the wallop can be later on in life.  I'm no developmental psychologist, but I don't really buy into that whole "kids bounce back better" theory.  Personally, I just think trauma at a young age buries the scars deeper and affects your life in the same way an underwater mountain can affect ocean currents, waves, and tides without anything being obvious on the surface of the water.

So with that in mind, I wrote "Rivalry".  It is not a horror story, per se.  Many classic "ghost stories" are not necessarily horrific.  Most are creepy, unsettling, and by the end you give a shiver and find yourself a little less comfortable sitting alone at home late at night.  Aficionados of the horror gaming genre may agree with my opinion that it is extremely hard to cause "horror" during a horror gaming session, but I have seen players become creeped out and unsettled.  If you can give your players a case of the "heebie jeebies", then that's often reward enough for an evening's gaming.  That was the objective I set out to meet with this story, and from all the feedback I've received, "Rivalry" comes pretty darn close to achieving that goal.

So if you enjoy a classic ghost story a la M.R. James or Sheridan Le Fanu, I invite you to give "Rivalry - A Ghost Story" a try.  $0.99 at Amazon, approximately six thousand words.  Perfect for a ten-minute read just before going to bed tonight, and who knows - with a little redesigning, maybe you can use it as inspiration for your next ghost-related horror gaming scenario?

Here's the description copy from the Amazon product page:

Owen is a kid fascinated by ghost stories, but he's never seen a ghost, or met anyone who has - until Doug moves into town. Owen soon learns that Doug's family is haunted by a ghost that follows them from town to town, an entity that can slam doors and throw coffee mugs, an entity that finds Doug's family no matter where they move.

Fascinated by his friend's haunting, Owen begs Doug to let him spend the night, hoping to have a ghostly encounter of his own. Doug reluctantly agrees to ask his parents' permission, but when Mike and Sharon say no, it's the ghost that throws the temper tantrum, forcing Doug's parents to agree to the sleepover.

Owen packs a "ghost hunting kit" and prepares for a weekend of thrilling supernatural encounters, but what he experiences will change his life forever...

The Ram Has Touched The Wall

Or, more specifically, the Ram of writing a short story for possible publication has touched the Wall of me having an externally imposed deadline.

Games Workshop's Black Library, which is the publishing arm that handles all of the Games Workshop fiction for Warhammer Fantasy and Warhammer 40,000, is now in the beginning of it's 2010 fiction submissions window. BL does, in fact, accept unsolicited fiction submissions, and people do, in fact, get published and eventually go on to become regular BL authors. The deadline for submissions during the 2010 window is July 31st, and I've decided to submit a short story, come hell or high water.

Like I've mentioned before, I have very poor follow-through when it comes to self-imposed project deadlines. I tend to get all fired up about an idea, work fervently on that idea for a few weeks, and then as another idea comes into my mind, the first idea slowly falls by the wayside until it's finally forgotten. I might have ideas for deadlines, but since I'm the only one who cares about the deadlines, blowing through them doesn't affect anyone but my own sense of progress, which is notoriously poor to begin with.

On the plus side though, I've got what I think is a pretty good idea for a short story, and I've made some decent progress. I've decided that rather than just banging out 10K words, I'm going to approach this little project in a very concise manner, and I've begun writing short summaries of the major characters, as well as a breakdown of all the events that take place in the short story. By mapping everything out, I hope to encourage my writing by treating the short story not so much as creating the entire thing from whole cloth when I write it, but fleshing out the outline through prose, with actual narration and dialogue.

Other projects and such currently in the queue:

- I've got Pete Nash's BRP-centric gaming sourcebook Rome: The Life and Death of the Republic, on deck for reading and review. I picked it up on BN.com for a good price (Pete, sorry if that bites into your royalties...), and it's a great looking book that really is going to need a weekend of me curled up on the couch with a tumbler of something honey-colored and on the rocks to do it justice.

- In a similar vein, I just finished reading Caesar Against The Celts, and I intend to read Caesar's own memoirs on the campaigns in the next week or so.

- This is all wrapped up in me having just bought a bargain copy of Rome: Total War. I wasn't all that fond of Medieval: Total War, as I found moving and arranging units to be way too time-consuming. Moving units in R:TW seems to be a lot easier and not quite so complicated.

- I'm beginning to paint not one, but two Warhammer: 40,000 Space Marine chapters; Space Wolves and Crimson Fists. Right now I'm just beginning to work out the paint schemes, but I hope to have photos of some completed units at some point soon.

- I didn't want to jump on the Frazetta bandwagon like everyone else has over the last two days, since it would just be another "tribute post" in a sea of the same, so I'll just say I'm sorry to see the man pass on, but greatly appreciate everything he's done. I own two prints of his that hang in my home office, and it's always inspirational to look up and gander at them whenever I need suitable inspiration. Cheers to you, Frank.